The decision is yours... choose you.
The story starts when I turned twenty. I married young, to a man I didn't really love and who didn't really love me. Sure, the first year together was great, and being so young and naive I didn't question the red flags. I didn't question the neglect, the control of finances. As the years passed it got worse and worse and my tolerance grew thin. I got sicker and sicker with an eating disorder, food and exercise was the one thing that was mine alone, and I wanted my body to show how much I was suffering on the inside. I ended up in hospital a few times; eventually I left my marriage. Moved back to the city I called home and jumped straight into another unhealthy relationship. My lonely heart begging for love from anyone who showed the slightest interest. Unfortunately, I moved from terrible to horrific. This man love bombed me, told me all the things I needed to hear, was aching to hear. Again, I ignored the many and varied red flags. He used me in many ways, he took my hard earned money (I had literally come from a bank balance of zero, with no job when I left my marriage), he ended up taking my possessions, he took my dignity and self respect. He cheated, he manipulated, he used me and violated my trust. I hit rock bottom. Somehow, I found Cherlyn's facebook group, I joined and lurked there for several months, reading posts, crying everyday, going back to him and continuing the vicious cycles of abuse. I can't tell you how many times I clicked the link to make a private call with Cherlyn and chickened out. But once I had moved back to my home town, moved away from him and made my life less chaotic I finally booked the call. That call was the most loving thing I have ever done for myself. The road to healing has been hard, and every day I make the decision to keep choosing myself, my happiness. But it is not something I could have done alone, I needed help and support and Cherlyn gave it to me in abundance - she actually took time to message with me on Christmas day when I was hiding in my bedroom crying over a gift he had given me. Cherlyn helped me see sense when he asked me to drop my life and move back to marry him (yes... I kept going back... so. many. times.) Every time she has helped me choose me. I couldn't have done it alone, Cherlyn was a gift from God. Now, I am happy and content. I do things for myself, I'm becoming the woman I used to be, the woman I've always meant to be.