“No grey areas. Your drama or your future?”
It was in September 2017 when I chanced upon a Huffington post featuring Cherlyn’s work as a heartbreak specialist. I was going through the traumatic heartbreak of my failed relationship then, and Cherlyn’s insightful drawings and reflections struck a chord in me. I signed up for her Heartbreak Buddy mini course then as I was looking for an avenue to relief my heartbreak. The daily emails and strategies backed up by scientific research helped distract my mind, but it was a deeply dredged relationship that took its repetitive course of cycles (where I was still in communication with the ex). I found it tough to even perform No-Contact. In January 2018, I met up with the ex after an internal confusion of anger mixed with longing and lust, only to have my heart smashed again. At that moment, where the thought of suicide even crossed my mind, I mustered all the remaining shreds of strength I had left in me to reach out to my 2 bffs and also booked a call with Cherlyn. The first Deep Dive session she did with me already lightened the pain that was slicing my soul by half - I am not exaggerating. Cherlyn, with her insightful perception, knew what I needed more than anything then was the answers I knew I would never be able to get from my ex. I didn’t need comfort (that I got from my bffs). I just needed straight answers to my burning questions. I did another Deep Dive session with her and felt like I could support myself from then. I took on a new job then and was doing it together with my sideline to keep my mind really busy. Yet somehow, I still managed to find time to go online dating, and in the process, attracted another sleazeball (disguised as a seeming soulmate who shared common interests with me) but who was also emotionally unavailable. I was thrown into another tumult of turbulent emotions, having not fully recovered from my heartbreak, and dealing with two douchebags. (At the time, I also unblocked my ex and was in communication with him) It was around August 2018 when I finally got really sick of the emotional turmoil I was putting myself in again and again and decided to block both men for good. I continued to try to numb myself in my work. It seems the stars were aligned when I came across Cherlyn’s new mini series of videos on the science of letting go. I felt like this is it. I need to make a change in my life with regards to emotionally unavailable guys and I booked that call with Cherlyn. The rest was history. Although I was initially apprehensive about the coaching fee, Cherlyn gently, but also firmly showed me that if I was serious about helping myself, there are always ways to overcome the moolah factor. She was the supportive coach from the start, and sent me info on a 0% interest installment plan I could take up with my local bank. The priority was whether I wanted to get myself out of it once and for all. I knew then that was going to be a turning point for me. No more going back and forth, no more hemming and hawing. I will always remember Cherlyn’s classic phrase “You either choose your future, or your drama. There are no buts, no grey areas. This or that.” That formed the basis of most of my sessions thereafter, and I had to say it helped shape the beginning of the way I started to make decisions for myself, not just my relationship. Working with Cherlyn was tough work, cos she is a tough coach. But supportive in her own ways. She minced no words, she pushed when she needed me to achieve my goals, but she was also empathetic when I faltered in my journey. She constantly reminded that as my coach, she isn’t there as a like-able personality. The focus is on the goal. Of course, I had my own moments of resistance and do not swallow hook, line sinker. But Cherlyn, in her work with me, had also inculcated a more decisive streak as compared to my past self. Under her coaching, I learned that responsibility to self and decision making always goes hand in hand. The responsibility to self is vital, and forms the basis of decisions I make thenceforth. It was not a couple of months after working with Cherlyn that I got together with my current bf, who was my ex-colleague in my previous hellish job. My ex colleagues then formed the brightest light in that dark tunnel. It was the first time I received a girlfriend proposal, and he very sweetly spent the two weeks I was away preparing for it, even roping in some of his friends to help him. I was apprehensive about accepting a new relationship so fast, and Cherlyn had her concerns too, but she assured me time and again how I feel is always the most important. I did not agree to the relationship immediately, but his patience and non pressure won me over. It was easily one of the best decisions I made in 2018, and it was also one of the earliest things I got manifested with Cherlyn’s work - a sweet guy who woke up next to me on New Year’s Eve, except that Santa came earlier that year and gave me my gift on Christmas Day. Next, manifesting my job. The speed at which my previous job ended came at a surprising speed that shocked both Cherlyn and me, but we knew better things beckoned. When I was done with that hellhole, I started putting all my focus and energies into working with Cherlyn on manifesting my career. We were jubilant when the first and second interviews for the teaching positions came in, but they were not to be. It was a string of rejections for the interviews I attended, and I took it hard, because teaching interviews all require preparation and lesson demo, and I poured my heart and soul into each one. At the same time, I was also facing turmoil from some personal family matters, and my emotions took a plunge. During this period, my bf was a constant rock. He was always patient with me, offering me advice and suggestions and comfort where needed. His reassurance coupled with logic formed a very sound support system for me. Cherlyn was there to nudge me when I needed to be nudged, support me from a distance when I needed breaks, and to provide reality checks where required to. The job manifestation took a much longer time than we anticipated, but we finally realized the crux of the matter lay in the fact that I needed to make a complete career change. For months, I was also befuddled and uncertain of my career choices - to continue in current industry which was too niche, to return back to the industry I previously left or to try new things. Eventually, the months panned out and the choice became clearer as days passed. Although Cherlyn felt it took such a long time, 6 months vs the 3 months we planned for initially, nonetheless, I felt the journey and time was worth it all. Through the different interviews I attended, I felt like I was uncovering a new piece of understanding myself better through each one, and the choice became clearer. At the end of it, I finally received two offers, and it was apparent which I would take up. The offers came as soon as I let go of my anxiety, and learned to deal with each rejection better by focusing on the next, and just persevering forward. This is by no means any easy feat. Like most ladies here, we were more emotionally inclined and rejection does not sit well. But I learned to put Cherlyn’s strategies to action (as I said I would during our contact signing) and just pressed on. May I also add that, in addition to manifesting that job, that offers much better benefits and stability, it also offered me the exact salary that Cherlyn and I manifested for? Hehe #manifestationrocks Cherlyn is a coach I would highly recommend to anyone who is not just going through heartbreak, but also seeking a complete turnabout in her life choices. However be forewarned that working with Cherlyn is tough work. You need to be able to commit to yourself 100%, no grey areas =) Thank you so so much Cherlyn. You have my gratitude and appreciation for the internal transformation work you have done with me, and the plethora of resources that will aid me in my journey henceforth. I know I have said it, but I will say it again, I couldn’t have made it this far without you honestly.