The tale of the naive hobbyist and the evil Slimemong
Are you sitting comfortably? You are!? Good then let us begin... Once there was a naive hobbyist, who decades after first discovering the amazing game, lore and models of Warhammer, returned to the hobby. He built many, many armies and spent the GDP of a small island nation on toy soliders. He then finally decided to buy his first ever big Resin model, (Like the ones his younger self had spent hours gazing at with lust and awe on Forgeworld.com in the dark ages and delightfully palandropic year of 2002)! The first big model he bought was a Thunderhawk gunship and even though it had the mold lines, air bubbles and slippage he had been prepared for, it was perfect. So, confidence growing, our naive hobbyist threw caution to the wind and decided to buy another big resin b**tard of a kit and ordered the kind of model his younger self had only ever dreamed of! Oh it was like Christmas, the day that Drab Santa stand-in from UPS dropped that giant box off at the naive hobbyist's home... Enthusiastically he opened the boxes full of resin joy, inspecting the weapons first. They were all perfect and his excitement grew. Finally he opened the box containing the body of his Reaver Titan... And this dear reader is where our tale takes a dark turn!! The author would like it known he is fully supportive of affirmative employment laws and doesn't believe anyone of any capability should be restricted from the work force. However, he would like to question the logic of whoever it was who assigned the blind chap and his dog to the role of casting resin models... To say the majority of parts of this titan were poorly cast would be an understatement! In fact, you could reasonably argue Mel Gibson in the starring role of a biography of Moses would be a more successful casting. However, set backs happen right!? Our naive hobbyist knew exactly what to do! He took some pictures and sent a message to the Warhammer Customer Sevice team. Now every good story needs a good villain. Sadly this isn't a good story and our villain is the woeful Slimemong. Despite our hobbyist's pleas, the greasy Slimemong refused. He insisted the parts were up to the normal standard and that the hobbyist should expect these kinds of issues with resin kits. The naive hobbyist would have agreed, if entire sections of detail hadn't of been missing or parts had slipped so much in the mold, they required resculpting from scratch. So, he took more pictures and tried to explain but again the greasy Slimemong refused to replace them. Now forgetting the quality of these pieces is like comparing Michelangelo's David to a child's first attempt at a gingerbread man or that the cost of this kit is greater than a good quality resin 3D printer. The worst part of this is the evil Slimemong has killed the enthusiasm of that naive hobbyists inner child. Yes, they are going to refund it, yes he will get his money back but the naive hobbyist is no more. Instead all that remains in his place is a jaded cynical old man who is still baffled by the inconsistency of quality between Warhammers own resin kits and a customer service staff member who would rather issue a refund than help a customer get a few parts replaced.