From Parking Spot to Investment Portfolio (Except We’re the Ones Paying!)
Ah, StorageMart—where your outdoor, uncovered parking spot somehow appreciates in value faster than tech stocks in a bull market. We’ve been renting the exact same piece of asphalt—no roof, no walls, no power, no nothing—since late November 2022. At the time, the monthly rate was $69.99. Fast-forward to today and we just received another rate hike: now $119.99/month. That’s a 71.5% increase in under two years. For comparison: The S&P 500 gained around 25% last year. Gold is up roughly 13%. Oil rose about 10%. StorageMart? Apparently, unguarded rectangles of asphalt are the hottest-performing asset of the decade. Their response to any complaint? “Storage units are commodities.” Right—because nothing screams global market volatility like a 8x10 parking space behind a fence in Missouri. For the record, real commodities include wheat, copper, and crude oil—not sunbaked patches of pavement with potholes. And the cherry on top? I just checked their website. They’re advertising the exact same parking space for $94/month AND a free month for new customers. So let me get this straight: new renters pay less and get freebies, while loyal, long-term customers are squeezed like a lemon at a summer picnic? If you enjoy being financially gaslit, StorageMart is the gold standard. If not, run—don’t walk—to literally any other facility that values customer loyalty.