Guck Guck 9000
I've used male sex toys in the past to underwhelming results. Compared to everything else, this mechanical vagina is god-tier. The guck guck 9000 here, priced at only $100, is incredible. I'm above average but my junk fits in perfectly and once you put that suction mode on the vibe, oh man, you'll be wishing you could take this thing out to dinner. Jesus. Now, are the sounds it makes somewhat offputting? Yes. Wear headphones. Is it a pain to clean? Not really just get some toy cleaner and wash it after each use. How is the Bluetooth functionality? I wouldn't know, the girl I was gonna use this with bailed on me but honestly I ain't even mad this vaginatron hits the g-spot like a motherfucka and makes me look forward to the cyberpunk dystopia we're inevitably heading towards.